“Often when a man follows his own will many are hurt.”
Beowulf
In my lifetime I’ve come across many a selfish narcissistic man. They don’t care about your feelings. They could care less what you think. All they do care about is them and what they are doing never giving any cause to anyone or anything else but themselves. In Beowulf, Wiglaf makes this very statement and while to me it means something exactly opposite he meant to pose as a testament to the character of Beowulf basically saying that Beowulf was not one of these selfish creatures and that he was very from the men I’ve come in contact with in my time.
The above statement had a powerful effect on me when I came across it. I had to read it over a few times in order to identify the exact feeling and it was one of betrayal, hurt, and yes…hate. It reminded me of past relationships, of my drug addicted brother, and of negative friends of whom I no longer have contact with which at one time have all induced these powerful feelings. People often whisk through life not caring about what they do and how their actions affect othere, Beowulf was not one of these people.
Below is a video that came to mind when I was writing and re-reading this. It’s Blue October “Hate Me”, Justin the lead singer and writer has been a long time drug addict and alcoholic for many many years and when he wrote this song I believe he finally came to the conclusion that he was actually hurting those around him by hurting and self-indulging himself and even at this point he has no retort or remorse.
In “The Wife”s Lament” a woman get torn apart from her husband for unknown reasons and has to go on in the world alone missing and wanting him. I liken it to women of this era longing for a loved one over seas or some one deceased or even just an unrequited love. The song that comes to mind, or more like the video that comes to mind is “The Ghost of You” by My Chemical Romance. If you listen to the lyrics and put yourself in the narrators shoes you can empathize and almost feel what she’s feeling; watching the video even makes it more intense.The years of both these two different things writing is centuries but the need and feel and theme is the same. It proves to me we companionship and we all need to be loved.
I had no idea what languishing meant until I heard this second song by Mariah Carey. And then when reading this passage from “The Wife’s Lament” the word came up again. It’s not used much in our every day venacular but it sure should be. I think the reason for this is because of the intensity of the word. It’s not an obsession, it a deep caring for or wanting of a person that you can’t be near for whatever reason. My new favorite word!
For my English class my Professor asked us to compile a florilegium. You might say like I did, “A flor-a-laka-what?” But after my Prof. explained what it was it all made complete sense. For the definition:
florilegium
\flor-uh-LEE-jee-um\
DEFINITION
noun : a volume of writings : anthology
She asked for us to jot down any particular passages that stood out to us. Then we were to write down how they made us feel and what were are thoughts on those specific passages in a creative way. Well, after playing around with a few different ideas I came up with this one…my blog.
My blog is much like a flora-whoa-whatsit, so I decided to blog about these wonderful little stories and some big one’s too and put them to music. I found when I singled out these particular passages from these old Anglo-Saxon poems and read them aloud to myself that I was reminded of some of the poets of modern days. Bowie, Pearl Jam, Mariah have all had songs about such topics as these passages had invoked inside of me. They may have not been spouting the can-descent rhymes of Anglo-Saxon lore but similarly they were spouting about similar topics such as love, feeling alive, and fighting for what you believe in. And in a poetic sense song was poetry and now poetry is song. And there is still much commonality including rhyme, themes (not about killing though, maybe in death punk) and alliteration.
So here is my first florilegium entry Beowulf.
“Be on your meddle now, keep in mind your fame, beware of your enemy. There’s nothing you wish for that won’t be yours if you win through alive.”
The key word here for me was…FAME. All hero’s need the confidence and bravado to go up against the odds and in turn they win the fame and adulation of their people, such as Beowulf did. He was known for being the strongest man in his land and came to help Hrothgar defeat Grendel because he knew he could do it through the confidence he gained from his previous experiences. I see a correlation between celebrities and heros like Beowulf because it just proves if you’re great at something you can achieve anything and win over the masses. Talent is still admired and much like Bowie the FAME is just what comes with it.
I may look like I deliver but….I don’t. You might be wondering what I mean exactly when I say this so let me clarify this statement for you.
If you’re a man and you’re not my boyfriend, meaning we are not in a committed relationship, and you ask me to come over in the middle of the night, or actually any time after 9pm with out first taking me to dinner, dancing and or movie, then you’re bound to illicit this response…
“I DONT DELIVER!”
Case closed! You don’t get special privileges till you’ve done the foot work, till you toiled down in the dungeon, till you’ve put forth much effort getting to know and love me, and not just solely wanting to fuck me. You’re the man, YOU COME TO ME! And if you’re looking for a girl to appease your sexual appetite then you’re barking up the wrong tree, she ain’t me. Don’t waste my time or yours get my drift. “Don’t be a hard rock when you really are a gem baby girl.” I’ve had it before and I will have it again. I’m holding out for a good man, cuz by garsh darn it, I KNOW I CAN HAVE ONE! I KNOW I CAN HAVE BOTH!!!! HOT “AND” CONSIDERATE “AND” SUCCESSFUL!!!! IT”S F’N POSSIBLE! CUZ I BELIEVE!
Nuff said….
Can I tell you that I think Apple’s are the greatest computers ever!?! And that the company and the people that work for them are f’n amazing! Just wanted to give a lil shout out to my friend Dave who helped me update my WordPress and add my Twitter Widgets. I’m becoming a little compu genius with these one to one’s thanks to him.
For those of you having absolutely no idea what I’m talking about, Apple has a program called “One to One” only available when you purchase a brand new Mac. It’s an extra $99 bucks and can be renewed a total of 3xz and last a whole year! Yes, I said a WHOLE YEAR!
In these “One to One’s” they pair you a Mac Genius for an hour and you get to learn all about this amazing machine, the programs that come with this machine, and anything else having to do with compu’s that you can think of–it’s great! You can also make as many appt’s a week as you like.
I’m just beginning to take advantage of this incredible learning opportunity and i’ve already soaked in so much. you can also, if you chose, do a personal project. Personal Projects are when you come into the store and for example have a whole bunch of video footage and you want to edit it on iMovie and make a video to send out to your family, well here you can come into the store and do it right there while they look over your shoulder and answer any questions that you need to help you accomplish a slick and professional looking finished product! Mind Boggling! go in and check it out. PC aint got nothing on Mac!
