Dear Mama,

My bridesmaid told me to write you, she said you would know what to do. Mama this is serious…..I am getting married a week from Sunday and I can’t fit into my wedding dress! I love to cook for my fiance but I always end up eating too much, even when I try not too. Now , I’m going crazy!!! My parents spent a fortune for my dress and my seamstress says she can’t take it out anymore. Mama, what am I going to do?

“Blown Up” in Encino

Dear Blown Up,

Baby, calm down….this happens to many brides to be especially if they like pasta. Don’t worry Mama will help you. First, you buy a piece of  chicken. Leave it out over night and don’t wash it (very important) Then cook it a little, make sure it’s still pink on the inside. Now eat it. In no time at all, you will be pukin’ from both ends (if you know what I mean). I know this works cuz Mama had to do the same thing one time. You won’t be able to eat nothing for 5 days……I promise. Plus anything you ate 2 days before….gone too. Anyway, I guarantee you will lose 10 lbs! So, problem solved, right? As soon as the color comes back to your face you will make a beautiful bride. Makes me wanna cry just to think about it, Mama loves weddings. You’re welcome honey, God Bless You.

Mama