This convinces me that I need to start having children just so I can have a lil virtuoso of my own. This guy is going to be on Ellen today, he’s only in the 6th grade but I dare to say that he has perfect pitch and with a little polishing he can become the next Justin Bieber.

So Ms. Montag wants to get even BIGGER breast. Really? Seriously?

Is she that insecure?

Has she been seriously that jaded by that douchebag she calls a husband.

There needs to be an intervention by her loved one’s (NOT SPENCER).

This girl needs a serious hug! She needs to be told that she was beautiful and still is beautiful and doesn’t need all that junk…

Don’t do it Heidi! Don’t do anymore…

Have one for me…I’ll be studying.

And no it’s not Mexican Independence Day…

Damn Gringo’s…

I bathed in Sun today,
I danced around in her brilliant rays.
My skin went bamboo
to a even darker shade
resembling mahoghany
I relaxed in the Sun today

Madge was the first and the only as far as I’m concerned and I love Xtina but seriously this is a blatant, although masterfully done, rip off!
This is so “Human Nature”, “Express Yourself”, “Vogue” that it’s not even funny…well done but Really? Seriously?

U look f’n HOT Xtina, and the make-up artist did a bad-ass job on ur face but really let’s come up with our own shit next time…

Intro the true Queen Bitch….

Hats off to Mr Ron Fair…you know what you doing man…churn out the imitations….

I’m ready to go and tan somewhere…any suggestions…?

Whose gotta pool? or extremely bright patio with lounge chairs…

I wanna sit somewhere and write my paper…in the sun …

It’s a beautiful day!

My bikini goal this year is to look like Marisa Miller….

Well not totally cuz I can never be blond n blue but the cute petite brunette version of her…

So I’m putting down the cheese n wine, backing off those Jalapeno Kettle Chips I love so much, and

hitting the gym 6 days a week…

Treadmill here I come….

I get bad allergies.

The older I get the worse they become.

It starts out with an achy body feeling then all my nasal passages go dry.

After they go dry they start to fill with ugly gross looking greenish-yellow type mucus.

Once that happens….I’m offically fucked!

My neti pot provides only a brief relief from my symptoms.

And if it gets really bad I’ll need antibiotics….I’m fighting this one…tooth and nail…

Neti pot here I come…

I take spin a few times a week.

I love the endorphins taking class gives to me.

I love the amount of calories I burn in a 50minute period.

And I love the way it shapes my body.

What I don’t love is the man that sat in front of me today.

He decided it would be cool to continually pass gas in my face, while he drank his coffee, while I spun and silently dry heaved and shoved my nose into my armpit because it definitely smelled a lot better than inhaling his whey induced gas! Eww…gross.

Needless to say, I was pissed. I made sure to shoot him a few dirty glances as we wrapped up our session and I stormed out.

Moral of the story….Never sit behind a dude in a spin class…U might die…

This is the DOUCHEBAG that killed Natalee Holloway.

He has no remorse.

Said he was just trying to get laid and she went into an epileptic seizure.

He didn’t even bother to see if she was actually dead before he and a friend dumped her body into the ocean.

FUCKING SCUMBAG!

Girls and Woman out there please take note and learn from Natalee’s fatal mistake.

Mind your drinking habits. Drink in moderation. When you drink too much it clouds your judgement and Douchebag’s start to look better and plus drunken sloppy chicks are unattractive anyways.

Never leave with a stranger. It’s easier to give someone a phone number and see if he calls later. It sends out the right message…to respect you. And if he was just looking to get laid, he’ll most likely never call and that will save you lots of un-needed drama.

Keep your legs closed and avoid Douchbag’s like this one.

Werd!